i fell in with a crowd of drifters

dear american apparel

STOP USING THOSE PSUEDO BARELY LEGAL PORN ADS I AM SO SICK OF SEEING THEM AND WILL NOT BUY YOUR PRODUCT UNTIL YOU SHOW WOMEN WITH A LICK OF FUCKING DECENCY JUST ONCE. AND I'M SOMEONE WHOSE USUALLY PRETTY FUCKING OPEN MINDED ABOUT THAT SORT OF THING. THATS HOW SICK OF IT I AM.

thank you, zar

so hi, it probably well known but i'm a total local history nerd. like i obsess over it. collect books and little things dedicated to the history of the area. right now i'm reading "los tucsonenses the mexican community in tucson, 1854-1941" by thomas e. sheridan.
really fantastic book when you kind of over look the "omg white people had better jobs" sort of it. though many of the ones who were in charge were university educated, widely traveled business people. where as many mexicans were farmers or people escaping the mexican revolution. so it sort of makes sense. anyways.

i'm on a really good part of it about religeon. specifically a healer named teresa urrea who lived in tucson after july of 1892 and did many miracle healings in tucson (as well as everywhere she went).luckily they mention she lived in the home of cecilia barnes so i should be able to track down her residence and see if it still exists. if it does i'm going to go lay some flowers down for her there. she is buried in clifton, az but i've never been there and dont know when i'd get a chance to go.



from http://www.rcgi.org/salon/122008/powerofnames.asp
"One of the must-have names on my list would be Teresa Urrea, la Santa de Cabora. She was born of a very young Indian mother and a Mexican rancher. After being attacked and beaten by a ranch hand, she spent months in a coma during which she had numerous visions of the Catholic goddess. Reports say she returned to life smelling of roses and with dramatic powers of healing and foreknowledge. Teresa began healing people of incurable diseases by laying on hands and gazing into their eyes, and thousands of Indian people congregated at her ranch. She continued her healing work throughout her life."

this song is so perfect and the video is so amazing. its sooooo touching that i've been watching it over and over again and am just a snot filled factory of tears.

must go out tomorrow and try to hunt down a copy of the state complete collection dvd.
i've only been waiting for this for elventeenbillion years.

At exactly midnight my phone rang.
When I answered it there was this huge POP on the line and it went dead.

I will now either be killed soon by the person who cut the line so i can't dial 911 or i'll have to call the phone company in the morning.

i haven't written anything because i haven't done anything worth writing about for a week.


kidnap me for adventure!

i want a road trip like no other.

listening to gary glitter. blaring loud and dancing. went dancing last night. my broken toe is killing me but i couldn't stay away anymore. god that moment. that moment that everything turns dark and people become nothing but statics. i tried to slow the moment down and figure out what it is. why can't i see anything. am i dying? is it blood pressure? does my heart stop? does time and space rip and i can see everything?

up early yesterday and off to agua caliente park. this is me stalking a great horned owl!



i wanted to hug him so badly but he'd have nothing of it and kept flying a few trees ahead of me. it was so good to be out of the city.

today i do believe i'm going to go pick up a red velvet victorian love seat i spied yesterday at such a good price in a thrift store. super excited and then i'll start moving things around and redecorating. i need a bit of change.

forgive the bad photo, i'd been in the sun all day and then out dancing at night. so very late.



i see you looking at me french fries. you thought i wouldn't notice but i did. you sitting there all hot and steamy. just waiting. wanting to touch my lips and tongue. i feel the same way too. its love.

www.beautifuldarling.com

they have made a documentary about candy darling that is starting to make its tours.



I.
AM.
SO.
EXCITED.

you have no idea. i LOVE candy darling. in that "i think i know you" way. i have concidered her my own personal saviour for a long time now. i talk to her almost daily. everyday i stare at her photos and have my little conversations with her about life. this documentary is so long overdue. please. please. please come here.

christof picked me up this morning and it was off to the far far land of Three Points to meet obie.

this is obie


a beautiful dark brown goat. wonderful, loving, intelligent, breathing, heart beating animal. the woman who had him had rescued him from being thrown in a bar-b-que pit. she had recognised him from being from a local petting zoo to the area, stepped in and saved him. he behaves like a dog, running with her two others. begging for treats and being petted.



few things make me happy like quality goat time. especially one that stares you in the eyes and wants so much of your attention. i didnt want to leave but it was blazing hot outside and obie left me for a dark place to lay down. i also saw a wild vulture up close. and this would have more context but i'm so tired i can't think that straight.

i love my dog, and gold disco shoes with faux wood patterns on the bottom, and avocados, and almond oil.

after reaching the hallucination, stabbing pain in eyes/head, shaking and vomiting stage of not sleeping for so many days in a row i got 3 blissful hours of sleep. wonderful dreamless hours of sleep. i even awoke with the lights off and was *ok*. i don't think i've slept with the lights off for maybe 6 months now?

anyone want to go to this with me? or is anyone here performing in this?
www.airsexworldchampionships.com
8pm this sunday at congress

THIS IS WIN!!!


more Fail Dogs

THIS IS ALSO WIN!!!


more Fail Dogs

mourning doves in the morning really do sound like women crying
up and 4am and listening to jordan sparks-no air on repeat for hours

i was talking about perfect boys with a friend of mine and we pretty much decided i need a kurt:

Information Society - Walking away


yep. the hair, voice, eccentrics, add the roller skates and the car on the cover of hack = *sigh* he even has that midwestern sort of farmboyish look about him.

failing that i'll settle for an ian (black outfit only)
The Cult - She Sells Sanctuary


(ever hear a song and think its secretly written for you? she sells sanctuary is the one for me) (well ok all tomorrow's parties too)

wait i had to edit this... before ian i'd have to ask for freur. and i WISH i could inspire someone to write a song like this. if you haven't heard the version in welsh look it up on youtube. one of the most scary sort of haunting things i've ever heard. welsh in general always makes me feel uneasy. but the costumes are fantastic, and i just love the english version to pieces.



this is the band that eventually became the band "underworld" whom i also love to pieces

got my vegan soul food cookbook today! it all looks so good and so easy. tons of ingredients i don't normally use. and recipies for okra. i love okra!

if someone out there loves me, i mean really loves me, they will realise i am a poor zar for 2 weeks and out of the supreme kindness of their heart will buy me this book!



in exchange i promise to make you a four course meal of your choosing from the book after i get paid, in my back yard under the stars. or a gift certificate to your favorite store, a donation to your favorite charity, or what ever the flip you want if you don't live here.

i am flipping over this book! sooo many vegan cookbooks are like.. oh wow lasagna or wow, stirfy. i do believe i don't know any of these recipes! so excited! i really dont know soul food at all. i only ate it once and that was a long time ago back when i ate meat and i chose a pretty non adventurous meal. there are recipies to make orange and watermelon rind edible! no more just tossing them into the compost!

***EDIT!!!***
mr. matty batty is kind enough to get the book for me because he is awesomeous! the most awesomeous ever! and he will be repaid a thousand times over because he has no idea how much i NEEd this book. long live the matty batty!

my lease is up next month i had previously wondered if i should move. if i stay this will be the 3rd year here and the longest i've stayed anywhere in a long time. as i got off my bus last night just reminded me why i love my neighborhood so much. the smells are enough to keep me here. the waxy flowers fall into the smell of sandlewood fall into the smell of garlic fall into the smell of jasmine-ish, fall into the smell of sage fall into the smell of breads being baked.... just each house has its own smell and walking home at dinner time (which is about 8-9 here probably later than most neighborhoods) the smells waift back and forth. as such does the music in each house, you can hear conversations. i mean there is the occasional tv, but way more would i say there are people on their porches sitting and talking.

so i think i'm going to stay yet again. i cant imagine living in a better spot.

see more Fail Blog
he gets a best-friend-forever-magical-bike-ride goat

and i get no goat what so ever :[